Ch-ch-ch-changes...

Oh how I hate changes.  I have been trying to "choose my attitude" to maintain a positive attitude during this transitional time for me from college to moving to Florida.  Its not going well in my head, but I'm making work.

All I want when I'm in my room is to have my own room, go to classes (YUCK-I mean skip most my classes), and hanging out with my close friends (aka scott since everyone else abandoned me to go be adults and student teach and stuff).  Then I'll listen to a song or see a picture and I'll want to be back in Florida with the people from this summer.

I want our apartment back (after that crazy bitch me and Katie ran out of our apartment), the boys down the hall, dance parties, going to the parks, my work "family"- scott & becca I miss you guys- along with all the summer CPs, Apples to Apples, setting up our Christmas Tree, Creativity class, the office group, Ben & me acting 'tarded, the pirate wall, SHARON!, Winnie the Pooh, the dumbtarded dinos, rats in a sac, ROCK BAND, gayson, baby gizelle's attutude, Jarrett talking to trees, Chris molesting me, Jesse being Jesse (man I miss that kid!), ALI!!!, Ali and I making retarded videos...like ones I havent even edited yet, hating the Tea Cups, Phil being...Phil-ish, forgetting how to work the fast pass machine, Katie & my pizza dates, oh my gosh...I miss last summer so much!  How I wish I didnt end up working on Pan side and having anxiety attacks all the time because Pan is STUPID. 

I miss it.  Ali, Derek... I know at least one of you will read this...PLEASE, can we relive last summer?  It was absolutely perfect.  I'm scared that I'm going to have too high of expectations when I go back.  It was just wonderful...I'm gonna end up hating Chatham and wishing things were back to normal.

I don't want to have to leave Scott and I know he thinks its stupid that I get all emotional (I cant help it dear) but what the hell...I might not see him for like...YEARS!  That kinda sucks. A lot.  I'm having a hard time with this part of moving on, but I'm dealing w/ it better than I thought I would. 

On the good side the next couple weeks are looking good.  First, I graduate (but I'm not walking...long story, ask later), Ben comes to visit...SOOOO excited!, then Jason's getting married and I'm in the wedding (like maid of honor type gettup).  Its gonna be a whole lot of excitement and I probably should have plans on how to keep myself out of trouble!  HAHA!

All in all, I just am confused and hating all this change and transition.  I hate new, I hate change, I hate transitions...so this is not going to be a good time for me, but soon I'll be home w/ the kids and then soon after that I'll be back in Florida.  Let's keep smiling and hope this is the plan.

Thanks for listening and have a fabulous day!

It all started with a mouse...

So here I am, supposed to be studying for my last exam in my Vietnam War class but instead I am sitting on facebook and staring at my Disney pin collection.  It's quite amazing actually, to think of all the things in my room that would not be a part of me if it weren't for Walt E. Disney and his creating of Mickey Mouse.  My room is covered in Wall-E posters, Disney trading pins, coloring book pages, snow globes, statues and water bottles that all are Disney merchandise.  My life revolves around that mouse.

Mickey, who started as Mortimer (thanks to Walt's wife for that change in name), is a symbol of hope to many people.  He had humble beginnings yet has an entire empire now with movies, tv channels, theme parks, toys, books, etc.  Imagine your life being changed so completely.  It's the ideal story of rags to riches because a dream really can come true if you wish and work hard enough.

My problem right now is that I don't know what my dream is.  I don't know what I want to be or to accomplish.  I need to have the dream in order to create the hope that can guide me.  This might all seem nonsensical to you all, however once you've worked for the Mouse, you know what I'm talking about.  It's not merely a job, to work for Disney, it's a lifestyle.  It's something that is almost impossible to explain to someone who hasn't experienced it before.  I can't just go to an amusement park and expect an experience like the one I will receive from Disney.  However, it all depends on one's mindset when entering into this surreal world and leaving all reality behind.

I wish life could be like Disney.  Leaving all my troubles and stresses behind seems like such an amazing idea at this point in my life.  I want to be a kid, I want to run away to Neverland and be there to dress and pretend forever.  I wish it existed, because I would have finally found my calling; to be a kid forever.  Now if only I knew how to turn that dream into something productive in my reality.  Props to people like Walt Disney and anyone who has achieved their dreams.  Now, I hope, it's my turn.

Let's start today.  Maybe if I find that one true passion I can use it to create something wonderful.  Have a great day everyone!

Scott

So...scott bet me that he would hack my blog before the week's over.  That last post was him hacking my blog.  

the end.

HACKED

told you i would jessie

YAYAYAYAY

Cleaning...

So today I am cleaning my room because it is absolutely beyond messy.  I can't take it anymore.  So I started by gathering my laundry, moved that aside, turned on some music and all I have gotten done is the first stage in changing Blackbeard's (my wonderful pet fish) fishbowl.  I also found that my camera was dead, my garbage needs to be taken out, I found my winter hat and gloves, and my sneakers have finally appeared.

I kinda like today because I'm going to take time out for ME and think (while I clean of course).  I need some time to myself, I'm feeling very overwhelmed with everything right now that is going on in my life.  I feel like myself today.  It might just be the music or my cute little fish but my room is kinda the place to be right now.  

I always wanted to be one of those famous bloggers that wrote everyday and made people laugh while still bringing up issues relevant to the world, but I feel because I can actually get ideas out through writing I'll just end up using this as a public journal of sorts.  Lucky you, the readers, for joining me on this grand adventure through life.  Any comments would be nice, and honestly...I do enjoy sharing my life with people especially if they want to read all about it.

Thanks again Derek for coercing me to start yet another blog, hopefully this time I don't give up half way through like I do with everything. :P  I hope you are all enjoying the weekend, I know I am.  I needed this break from the scheduled life I lead.  The music in the background, sun shining through the windows and the hope and excitement of summer peaking through my stress-ridden mind is making today productive. 

Enjoy yourself today!  Much love!